


You Could Be Happy

by therealmnemo



Series: Mnemo's Canon FenHanders [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Dragon!Leto, Demisexual Fenris, Dragonriders of Pern crossover, Fenhanders - Freeform, Fenris Week 2016, Fluff, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Kidfic, M/M, Multi, Pain, Past Anders/Hawke, Past Fenris/Isabela - Freeform, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:25:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7140080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealmnemo/pseuds/therealmnemo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My drabble collection for Fenris Week 2016 hosted by <a href="http://teamblueandangry.tumblr.com/">teambluandangry</a></p><p>Monday - Ship Day / Surprises (Fenris x Anders x f!Hawke)<br/>Tuesday - On The Run Day / First is Trust (Fenris x m!Hawke)<br/>Wednesday - Lyrium Markings Day / Rejuvination (Fenris x Anders)<br/>Thursday - Reading and Language Day / - in progress -<br/>Friday - Friendship Day / - in progress -<br/>Saturday - AU Day / Flight - Dragonriders of Pern Crossover (Fenris x Anders)<br/>Sunday - Young Fenris (Leto) Day / - in progress -</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprises

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The First and (Hopefully, Not) Last Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8761414) by [therealmnemo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealmnemo/pseuds/therealmnemo). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris contemplates his life and family since Kirkwall as he entertains his five-year-old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack, I have to go back and retcon some ages in my other drabbles, but this is just another snippet of the trio that I started during FenHanders week. [Left Behind](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6328558) would take place before this, and [When They Knew](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6314962) comes after.
> 
> I absolutely HAD to start Fenris week with fluff. I did it with Anders week, gotta do it here too.

Fenris fiddled with the pile of flat stones in his hands. The sun overhead indicated mid-afternoon, and if this was anything like last time, he still had hours to fill.

“Look, Papa!”

Fenris smiled as Lisel tossed a rock directly into the stream with a loud _plop._  

They spent the early morning harvesting herbs, followed quickly by a race against Hawke’s aging mabari. After a quick check inside and grabbing a book, he took Lisel by the hand to read to her beneath the old oak tree. She soon lost interest in the book he had read to her many times before and ran off to the stream where Fenris showed her how to skip rocks.

It seems the technique was lost on a five-year-old. Fenris gave his daughter a proud smile anyway.

His daughter. _His_ daughter. Her daughter. Their daughter.

 

Fenris felt if he could describe life since Kirkwall, he would use the word ‘surprising’.

Hawke slipping away in the middle of the night.  

Finding out that not only did the mage-Anders care for him, but that Fenris cared for him in return.

Arriving at Weisshaupt to find a heavily pregnant Hawke.

 

Anders had his opinions on the matter, but the three of them had not been necessarily careful. After three years, they came to the conclusion that between the three of them there would never be children. Anders with the taint, Fenris with his lyrium, Hawke and the scar tissue left behind from the duel with the Arishok. With that delusion proven false, they all expected the little one to be Fenris’.

 

Over the three months left of Hawke’s pregnancy, more surprises.

Bethany showing up with the Wardens from Vigil’s Keep.

The Warden healers unable to find a trace of the taint left in Anders.

Justice falling silent, Anders mourned his friend who must have taken the taint himself.

 

Fenris spent the better part of a day pacing the hall in Weisshaupt before Anders called him in to hold Hawke steady on the birthing chair. Bethany sat to her left, holding her hand tightly, whispering encouragement. Anders ran his hands over her trembling thighs and swollen belly, checking progress constantly. Fenris kneeled to her right, taking her other hand and pressing kisses to her sweat-soaked forehead. It wasn’t long before Anders held a healthy, screaming baby girl up to them all.

 

Lisel’s loud mouth was not the only thing she inherited from her father, Fenris thought to himself with a smile. She was Anders in miniature. Fenris had braided the strawberry-blonde hair early that morning, even though most of it fell loose around her face now. She was taller than children her age in the village. The only sign of Hawke were the large blue eyes that watched another rock drop into the stream.

 

Fenris had long given up on being a father, on having a family. He was content with the life the three of them had started. Once Lisel was born, he worried about how things would change. He worried that with Lisel being Anders’, he would feel left out, be pushed aside.

And that was a surprise in itself, their lives continuing in the same harmony despite the obvious lack of sleep they all put up with these past five years. When Varric called on Hawke to help in Kirkwall, Fenris watched Lisel while she and Anders returned. It had been his idea. Kirkwall needed to see its Champion to heal, Anders was to be part of some ceremony concerning the Rite of Tranquility.  They still had enemies, and they didn’t want Lisel anywhere near it, so Fenris offered to stay behind.

Fenris heard her first words, helped her take her first steps. Lisel may not have been of his blood, but she was his daughter as much as Hawke and Anders.

A few weeks ago, he was there for another of her firsts. Fenris held her in his lap beneath the oak tree as they did earlier today, reading an older book of stories when he found himself yawning. It was mid-day, the sun was shining, he had not been tired when they first sat down. In fact, she had not stopped squirming in his lap since he started reading. He shook awake, not realizing he had fallen asleep, and he watched Lisel run away towards the house.

He took off running, easily overtaking her, and scooped her up. She squealed and tried to drop once more and Fenris found himself yawning into her shoulder as they walked into the house.

Anders and Hawke were cutting and sorting herbs at the table when Fenris plopped her down unceremoniously between them.

“Your daughter is a mage. She put me to sleep.” He deadpanned the line at Anders, trying to not to chuckle.

Both Anders and Hawke looked at Lisel in shock, but it was Anders who looked back at Fenris with tears in his eyes. He stood up to embrace Fenris fully before returning an equally playful jab. “Our daughter, you blighted elf.”

 

“Can we go back inside yet, Papa? It’s hot.”

Fenris retreated from his thoughts and dropped the stones from his hand.

“It should not be much longer, little one.”

 

Anders had been mixing a porridge earlier this morning, Fenris braiding Lisel’s hair, when Hawke yelled from their bedroom.

The latest surprise in their lives was ready to come into this world.

Fenris left Anders to tend to Hawke while he kept Lisel entertained.

 

“Are you still gonna love me, Papa?”

Fenris sighed and plucked her from the water’s edge, settling her on his hip. He blew a raspberry on her face, something he started doing after watching Anders do the same. She squealed in response.

“Of course, Lisel. Are you ready to be a big sister?”

She nodded, grinning wide, wispy blonde hair blowing in the breeze.

For the first time in years, Fenris thought of Varania.

“Remember, little one, we will always protect you; but you must always protect your sibling, they will always need you.”

He received another nod in response, the weight of the words lost on her young mind. He hugged her close and kissed her forehead.

“Fenris! Bring Lisel!”

Anders’ voice from the house spurred Fenris’ feet to move before he realized it. Lisel bounced on his hip as he ran back to the house.

 

Once inside, Anders met him outside the room to take Lisel from his arms. The mage leaned in and kissed the elf’s cheek before whispering in his ear. “You’re going to need both arms.”

Fenris opened the door to the room to find Hawke curled up on their bed, holding a bundle with black hair in her arms and another bundled at her side.  His markings started to pulse dimly in time with his heartbeat. He carefully sat down on the bed, picking up the small bairn.

“That’s Caleb.” Hawke whispered as she leaned on Fenris’ arm. “And this is Braeden.” She reached out a hand to wipe the tears away from Fenris’ face.

Anders stood at the edge of the bed with Lisel. Fenris was still in shock.

“Fenris, look at them!”

Just when Fenris thought twins were the last surprise in his life, he finally looked at the little body in his arms. His finger traced the edge of Caleb’s small face, his skin the same deep olive tone of Fenris’ own. Skin unmarked by the lyrium on the finger touching it now.

His nostrils flared as he brought his hand up to his mouth to hold back the sob in his chest, exhaling sharply. He turned to look at Braeden, identical to the brother held in his own arms.

Fenris sniffed and dug the heel of his palm into his eyes, rubbing the tears away. He chuckled through his hysterics and motioned for Anders to sit with them.

“Look at our children,” he caught Anders’ eyes before turning back to Hawke, “ they are perfect.”

He gently squeezed Caleb once more, unable to stop touching the babe’s face, running a finger down the flat bridge of his nose.

“Our family is perfect.”


	2. First is Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a small exchange between Fenris and Garrett on the run after Kirkwall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Fenris and Garrett from my Little Bird series. For Fenris 'On the Run' day.

“Hawke.”

“Not right now, Fenris.”

“Hawke, we need to move. This is not the same as your family staying ahead of rumors. If they find us, they will kill us.”

Fenris tries to catch Hawke’s eyes across the small fire. It has been two days since finding the cave sitting at his back. Five days since leaving Isabela’s ship. Seven days since…

“I can’t Fenris. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know if we can ever stop running.”

_ Or if he even wants to keep running _ is left unsaid.

This is something Fenris understands. When he escaped Danarius on Seheron, the same train of thought plagued him. He had nowhere to go. No one to run to that would be safe from him in return. For weeks he thought that maybe it would not be the worst thing to simply give up. 

At some point the will to succumb was replaced by the spite to live. Simply telling Hawke this would not make it happen. 

The silence is far from comfortable when Hawke speaks again. 

“I would have helped him, you know? Maker knows what you already think of me now, but it’s the truth.”

Fenris doesn’t answer right away, just stares back into the fire. His fingers find that faded crimson cloth around his wrist and he starts to gently pull; he can’t help but wonder if his actions so many years ago pushed this all into motion.  If he hadn’t walked away, Hawke would never have run into the arms of the abomination. 

No getting caught up in the affairs of the mages. No watching Hawke’s heart break again when left to decide his lover’s fate.

Fenris shook the thoughts from his mind. He made a mistake that night, but none of this was his fault.  

“It may surprise you, Hawke, but none of us were ever leaving Kirkwall without a war behind us.” His lips curl as he scoots around the campfire to sit at Hawke’s side. “There may have been less explosions in what I imagined.”

Hawke laughs; that deep, painful laugh that borders on hysterical. Fenris stills when Hawke tosses an arm over his shoulders and leans into him. 

Five days ago, he expected to be sailing off into the distance with Isabela while Hawke vanished with the abomination into the forest. Instead, Hawke left his now former lover in a cabin below deck and paused at the gangplank. It didn’t make sense then, but Fenris followed. 

Fenris places a hand tentatively against Hawke’s head, pulling it to his shoulder. 

 

In a year, they would be exchanging vows in some village off the beaten path. 

In three years, Hawke would be rebuilding Kirkwall and Fenris would be hunting slavers. 

In five years, they would have a child and these friends they left behind, even the ones that betrayed their trust out of survival, would become their family. 

 

Yet in this moment, all Fenris knew was that he was on the run with the only man in Thedas he could trust. It was that same reason Hawke asked to join him as he left the ship. In this moment, the man that he once followed is shaken. In this moment, Hawke needs to be led for once. 

“One more night, Garrett. Then we move North.” 

Hawke shivers against his side, no longer laughing, and sighs in relief. 

“Thank you, Fenris.”


	3. Rejuvination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Fenris wakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Lyrium Markings Day. Some strange train of thought that kept bugging me when I couldn't think of anything else to write.

He wakes and he is on fire.

Every inch of his body is aflame and when he screams there is no sound.

He can barely hear the hushed and hurried whispers, catches a glimpse of cold blue eyes.

And as the pain is too much, the last thing he sees before darkness takes him is an equally cold smile.

  


He wakes and his skin crawls.

The heat of the Seheron jungle leaves beads of perspiration clinging to his markings.

His fingers dig into the white lines, seeking to stop an itch deeper than he knows.

When the healer’s hands apply a new poultice, he sighs in relief and the healer smiles.

  


He wakes and his body aches.

The markings pulse as the last of the blood magic that holds them dissipates.

He remembers the feel of his master’s heart in his hands, how easily it collapsed.

Soothing magic and soft words pull him back to the worried abom—mage and a tired smile.

  


He wakes and he is on fire.

Every inch of his body is aflame and there is only passion in his cries.

He hears the reverent whispers against his skin, gazes at warm honey-colored eyes.

When the pleasure lights up every marking in the night, he pulls the mage close, and smiles.


	4. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris and his dragon Leto stay away from the activities of they Weyr. Fenris wonders why Leto is not interested in the flight. They meet a stranger avoiding the flight for his own reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written for the AU day prompt. I give you... DRAGONRIDERS OF PERN CROSSOVER FENDERS. 
> 
> So yeah, this was a drabble that has slowly turned into me wanting to actually write a proper fic. idek.

“Truly, there has never been a larger glutton in all of Thedas.”

Fenris grinned at the white-scaled beast as it gracelessly flopped into the lake. 

**_The Queen bleeds her kills today. I merely took advantage of the extra game_ ** _. _

Leto dragged himself into the shallows and extended a wing for Fenris to start washing off the dirt and viscera from his hunt. Soon his scales will once again be as white as the shell he came from. Fenris snorted in response as a violet eye watched over him. 

Fenris often tried to keep his mind from wandering, since Leto could feel his every thought, but today he can’t help it. Word had travelled from the Weyr down to the Hold that Hawke’s young Queen dragon Genesis was preparing for her first flight. If Leto knew she was bleeding her kills today, that meant the skies would soon be over-run with the large Golden dragon and her potential mates in pursuit. 

Though Bronze dragons were generally the only ones to attempt to fly a Queen, all the dragons in the Weyr were affected. The bond between a dragon and its rider began at birth, and these mating flights were just as intoxicating to the riders in attendance.  The Bronze riders, potential Weyr leaders, would be on the main landing with Hawke. The remaining dragons of Brown, Blue, and Green would be off on their own, their riders swept up in the taverns below. 

All except Leto. He was an anomaly; the lone White dragon.  The small runt that no one expected to grow. The one that accidentally imprinted on Fenris when his master had tried to force a Bronze impression. What Danarius did not take into account was that the dragon belonged to the Weyr it was born in. Fenris was claimed by the Weyr and Danarius returned to the Tevinter Hold near the Southern Continent.

Leto was born in the same clutch as Genesis, but the dragon was not even the size of a the smaller Blue and Green dragons. Fenris had to fight with the older riders to even let him ride his own dragon.  They didn’t know Leto like he did. There was nothing wrong with his dragon. Small, white, and seemingly unaffected by the impending flight. 

**_Does it still bother you that I am different?_ **

“I am only concerned. Do you not wish to fly with the other dragons?” Fenris washes the scales on Leto’s neck with vigor, attempting to distract his mind from wandering again. 

**_No. I am quite content here with you. I can feel their excitement, it is exhausting._ **

Fenris chuckled. “Gluttony and Sloth. You make up for Lust in other ways you foolish beast.”

The large violet eye narrowed slightly. 

**_Am I keeping you from bonding with your fellow riders? Did you wish to partake in the flight? There are many without dragons, I am sure you could find someone…_ **

“I have no desire to rut with strangers in their substitute bacchanalian.”  Fenris grabbed Leto’s scaled snout and rested his face on it. “You and I are quite the pair. I was never meant to be a rider, and you were never meant to leave the hatching grounds. I enjoy proving everyone wrong.”

Fenris felt the low rumble of contentment in Leto’s throat.

**_There is someone coming. I think I may have scared him. I told him we were just looking to stay away from the Weyr as well._ **

That was Leto’s other quirk. The bond between rider and dragon included a telepathic bond. Leto was able to hear and talk with any rider or dragon. This tended to frighten riders that visited from other Weyrs that were not familiar with him. 

“Where is his dragon?”

Leto shivered under his hands. 

Another voice answered, “Thread.”

Fenris turned around to greet the man behind the voice. The man was tall and thin, cheeks gaunt, long blond hair caught in a knot at the nape of his neck. His eyes were golden and distant, the look of a man who lost his dragon.  

When a rider dies, a dragon cannot live without them and will sacrifice themselves to the Fade. When a dragon dies, the bond is broken, and many riders end their lives as well. The few that remain are ghosts among the living.

Before Fenris could respond, the man cocked his head to the side as if he was listening to something, eyes wide with wonder. 

“Is that… is that your dragon talking to me?” he questioned. 

Fenris smiled and started running a hand down Leto’s snout. “Most likely. You are more than welcome to request he stay out of your head. I unfortunately have to deal with it.”  

He bit his tongue when he saw the man wince.  

**_You do not often speak before you think Fenris. I am sure that is a problem he would love to deal with._ **

“That was thoughtless of me,” Fenris mumbled as he held out his hand to the stranger, “I am Fenris, you must be new as there are no dragonless riders in the Kirkwall Weyr.”

“Anders,” the man took Fenris’ hand and gave it a weak squeeze, “I’ve actually just returned from the Denerim Weyr. They needed a healer during the last Pass and I’m just now returning.”

“You are the missing Weyrhealer? You picked quite the time to return. I cannot imagine being dragonless during a flight.” 

Anders shifted uneasily and looked back towards the Weyr with a pinched look on his face. 

**_This is truly embarrassing, Fenris. You have insulted him twice now._ **

“At least I have an excuse to not want to be present in the Weyr! Why aren’t you up there with the other riders? I’m sure even your little runt could find a Green,” Anders voice cracked, “though its rider might be appalled at your bedside manner.” 

Fenris bristled at the man’s assessment of Leto.

“My dragon is just like any other dragon. He is small, but he is powerful, maybe even more so than other dragons. Not indulging in these base instincts does not make us  **less** .”

**_You are not less, Fenris. He is hurt and lashing out, be calm._ **

“No, it doesn’t. I’m sorry, I just… I haven’t participated in a flight since, well…” Anders used the sleeves of his robe to wipe away the tears that started to fall. “I lost my Blue, Justice, during the last Pass. He got caught by Thread when we came out of the Fade. It hit my partner as well, and I couldn’t reach him and his Green before they blinked out into the Fade. They never came back.

I’m just not ready. I’m sure there are plenty of people in the Weyr looking for a tumble today, but I can’t do that anymore. I’ve known more, better. A quick rut with a stranger pales in comparison to someone holding you through the night, every night.”

Fenris watched as Anders seemed to be surprised at his own outburst. He worried the healer might pass out in the grass and tried to think of something that might calm the man. 

“Anders, would you like to help me clean Leto? I am certain he will tell you just how to do it right.” 

A timid smile replaced the grim surprise on Anders’ face as he nodded. He almost stumbled into the water as he rushed to the dragon’s side. When his arm shot out to grab for the beast’s neck Fenris caught him around the waist. Once Anders was upright again he ran a hand down Leto’s neck, face wrapped in unadulterated joy. 

**_He thanks you._ **

Fenris’ arm lingered on the man’s waist. 

“You are welcome, Anders.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you familiar with the Pern series.. I have the Fade taking the place of 'in between' and I've got nothing for Thread to become so it is staying Thread. I didn't feel like taking up more exposition by explaining it. If I do an actual fic, I'll roll it out then. Also, you've probably already guessed that Leto is basically Ruth, precious asexual white dragon, and he imprinted on a demi-Fenris.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr!
> 
> main blog: [therealmnemo](http://therealmnemo.tumblr.com/) \- where I reblog practically anything but mostly Dragon Age  
> creative blog: [mnemosyneawrites](http://mnemosyneawrites.tumblr.com/) \- where all my fics, drabbles, drawings, and podfics live and take [prompts](http://mnemosyneawrites.tumblr.com/promptme)  
> anders and fenris blog: [teambluandangry](http://teamblueandangry.tumblr.com/) -Positive Art, Fanfiction, Headcanons, and Character Analysis for Fenris, Anders, and any ship they sail.  
> 


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